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It’s About Freedom…

September 25, 2014

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled. Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum instead of two opposing sets of ideals. If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by what we just are, we can all be freer…It’s about freedom. – Emma Watson, speech at the U.N. introducing the HeForShe campaign

I loved Emma Watson’s speech to the U.N. on gender equality (you can watch the entire thing here or read the transcript here.) Of course she was mostly focused on gender equality within a social and cultural context, but I wanted to springboard off of what she said in relation to energetics and spirituality – because that’s what this blog is about!

Over the years I have sometimes received emails, or had comments posted here, from individuals disgruntled that I focus on women’s spirituality and women’s energetics. The general jist of these is that it’s divisive to discuss women’s spirituality or energy healing as separate from men’s. Healing, spirit, and awakening are about wholeness beyond gender, and by focusing on gender I am reinforcing energies that separate people from each other and enlightenment, rather than dissolving them.

I couldn’t agree more that healing, spirit, and awakening are about wholeness. And for me, healing the feminine within women is about enabling the healing of the feminine in everyone, and the planet itself. It’s also about healing the masculine within us too! It is ultimately about enabling each of us to tap into the full spectrum of energies available to us as human beings, regardless of whether these energies have come to be labelled ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’, ‘yang’ or ‘yin.’ Cultural conditioning – and the energetic structures that perpetuate it – have cut both men and women off from owning their whole selves. Dissolving that conditioning and those structures is liberating. As Emma put it, it’s about freedom.

The current energetic imbalance – as it comes through individuals, cultures, and the world – is at the heart of so much of the suffering we see around us. And I don’t believe this imbalance is hardwired into our bodies, or our energy bodies. Yes, men have more testosterone and women have more estrogen, and each of those hormones (and all the other related physical attributes) are linked to different emotional expressions, as well as many other qualities. But we are not simply our bodies, our bodies are our vehicle – our vehicle for human life. Who or what is driving the vehicle? Call it spirit, call it god or goddess, call it awareness, call it the universe – call it whatever you like, but it is all-encompassing. It is not limited by gender – we have done the limiting.

That may sound funny coming from someone who focuses on the energy body differences between men and women. But acknowledging difference doesn’t have to mean we are defined by that difference. ‘Equal’ does not have to mean ‘the same.’ We can say men and women have equal rights to feeling sensitive or strong, assertive or receptive, protective or nurturing without saying that they are exactly the same in the way they experience and manifest these. ‘Masculine’ and ‘feminine’ are just ways of talking about these energies – maybe some day they will have no ties to gender at all, and we will all be full expressions of whatever we want.

For me, studying the differences between women’s and men’s energy bodies is akin to studying gynecology vs. urology – it is just technical. There are different ways we need to care for ourselves, and different phases and patterns we should be aware of, and ideally, relish. It’s not about division, and it’s not about hierarchy. To the extent that we experience our spiritual journey through our bodies and energy bodies, we can talk in terms of women’s spirituality and men’s spirituality. But that has nothing to do with limiting potential.

And to the extent that we are all one continuous energy spectrum, sharing in one collective human awareness, every woman (or man) who pulls forth more ‘feminine’ energy within herself/himself is contributing to a rebalancing that is long overdue. We have all been channeling the imbalance between masculine/yang, feminine/yin energies for far too long. It isn’t simply about men being in power, and I’m not one that believes that if women were in power there would ‘be no war.’ Unfortunately, I haven’t seen much evidence that that is true. It’s not simply the gender of those in power that needs to change, it is the mindset, and the energetic structures fueling that mindset.

This is the work we are all engaged in together right now. Here I focus on women, but it’s as much about men as women. Most of all it’s about heart – about opening and expanding. And yes, it’s about freedom!

Namaste. I always love to hear your thoughts~
20 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2014 9:27 pm

    Love love love your post! I, too, loved Emma Watson’s speech at the UN but I appreciate your application to spirituality. Thanks for your blog post!!!

  2. September 26, 2014 3:57 am

    Thank you Melinda, she did a wonderful job, and a post on this topic had been brewing in me for awhile, so her thoughts (and emotion) helped bring it forth. In a way, equinox is the perfect time for it, in the sense of equinox representing a balance or tipping point…

  3. Tina permalink
    September 26, 2014 4:26 am

    Wow! So powerful and well said! I love this post because it tackles so many hot topics, but most of all the idea that we have both feminine and masculine energy and should focus on balance and not center on gender specific stereotypes. Most of all I loved the opening as it really captured my attention. Your writing is so powerful!

  4. September 26, 2014 6:04 pm

    Thanks Tina. Of course I can’t take credit for Emma’s opening quote, but I’m glad yoy liked the rest. I know you and I have talked about gender stereotypes with children, and how fixed it seems – girl and boy toys, girl and boy colors – it’s amazing how deep it all runs.

  5. September 27, 2014 2:30 pm

    Lisa this was so well said and I agree with Tina powerfully written. I believe that both women and men are thirsty for balancing this energy within. Thank you for this.

  6. September 27, 2014 2:35 pm

    The timing of your blog was so perfect as I wanted to invite you as a women with so much wisdom to share, post and inspire another women on the Inner Family (inner child, inner nurturer, inner sage and inner warrior) Blog challenge at if you feel this resonates with you. As we have our inner family (harmonizing the masculine and feminine aspects or ourselves) we are self sovereign, empowered and confident to be ourselves. Please feel free to share a link to your blog post on your blog or the one above.

  7. September 29, 2014 1:16 am

    Thanks so much Bonnie, I will check out the Blog Challenge and really appreciate the invite. I know you are doing much wonderful work yourself in the form of this ‘Inner Family’

  8. Lotus permalink
    September 29, 2014 10:44 am

    A well written post Lisa !….. You are definitely doing a good job by concentrating more on women/feminine energies. Women do need to be empowered spiritually, which solves the rest of their problems automatically.
    I feel that women need to work real hard on themselves—–acknowledge their own weaknesses and faults; not to blame ‘men’ for their own shortcomings; to be aware of and enhance their own good qualities like (compassion, caring and sensitivity) and work on the positive masculine qualities within. To empower other women, instead of competing with and condemning each other and to become a real good MOTHER, as it is a vital role in shaping up the next generation.
    Swami Vivekananda had also stressed on women working on self- empowerment to help regain the gender imbalance. The famous Brazilian writer, Paulo Coelho also commented on this subject, saying that “its unto women to take the initiative”…… and I feel that women all over the world are changing positively, yet there needs to be more awareness on this issue ……if more and more spiritually aware WOMEN accept it as their mission, it would be a great help to humanity!

  9. September 29, 2014 1:55 pm

    Lotus, you have so pin pointed what I have experienced coaching women in the cooperate world and truly what goes on in our homes. We haven’t had models for the true divine feminine within the harmony of the masculine and the feminine within. This isn’t about looking outside ourselves but inside for the true empowerment within which you stated so well. We must honor our feminine energy but step into our masculine energy as women not emulate men. This is new to us a women now. I think blogs and dialogs like these are opening the conversation for women to find their voice. It also supports women in finding places to expand into their truly powerful selves. Books like Lean In by Sandberg and She Wins You Win by Evans shows the emerging energy of empowered female. Yes, those of us connected out spirituality and it is our mission have to do the same and let our inner warrior lead us.

  10. October 2, 2014 12:50 am

    Do not women have enough on their plate without buying into the
    Crusade for “empowerment”….

    I would like to see how far Paul Coelho will get telling a woman raising five children and holding down a part-time job, that she has to take the initiative. What is that saying?
    If you want something done, ask a busy person.

    ‘Eff off, Coelho!

  11. Lotus permalink
    October 2, 2014 3:50 pm

    Yes, Grace!….Raising five children and managing a part-time job is the first step which SHE IS taking…..What Paulo meant is the inner change. Instead of expecting and waiting for someone else to take the responsibility, here YOU are doing the best of what you can in a given situation. Instead of talking and preaching, a women who has no support should count on her inner strength and take ACTION. …..One does experience a miracle. I know it is difficult but certainly not impossible. The tough times are the best times when you look back at them. Just have faith in the Higher power…..God surely DOES help them, those who help themselves!!

  12. October 2, 2014 7:38 pm

    Hi Grace, I do understand your sentiments. Part of the reason I liked Emma Watson’s speech and quoted it here is because it emphasized the changes BOTH men and women need to make, and both the social changes and the ‘inner’ changes that need to occur. Even though my own work is focused in the spiritual and personal development realm, I get frustrated when I hear people talking about change from only the inner perspective, as if we all just need to visualize or think more positively and it will all work out. There are very real social, cultural and economic barriers that women disproportionately face every day. For me empowerment isn’t about asking women to take on anything new, or to take responsibility for changing the world, it’s more about enabling us to let go of the feelings of unworthiness or inferiority that often plague and limit women to a much larger degree than men. That work doesn’t need to take place instead of the social changes, it needs to take place alongside them. Being free of those is part of what I mean by ‘freedom.’

  13. October 2, 2014 7:45 pm

    Hi Lotus, I respect where you are coming from. I don’t want to speak for Grace, but I think part of what makes people uncomfortable with this kind of talk is that it seems to be shifting the blame for circumstances, or in this case gender inequity, entirely back on to women. It lets our society off the hook for the very real limitations and inequities that exist in our society and culture. I agree that we each need to take responsibility for our own circumstances and awareness, but for me that includes looking at the society of which we are a part, and working to change things there too. The work has to be occurring on both planes, and it is something both men and women need to do, not just women – that is the entire point of the speech I quoted, and of my post – that these shifts are shifts both men and women need to work towards.

    So from a spiritual perspective, a man working on a spiritual level needs to really think about the patriarchal views and structures that may be causing him to think about women in a certain limited way. Unearthing these views and really owning how they may be reflected in his own awareness is part of the awakening process for him, just as owning her own power is part of the process for a woman. It is not just women who need to do this work.

  14. Lotus permalink
    October 3, 2014 5:34 am

    Hi Lisa, I do understand what you are saying, and it is true. But practically, the one who has a hard ego cannot be asked to change. And MEN( the masculine energy) has an ego which has hardened through centuries. Women also have egos but they are more pliable than men…..even Eckhart Tolle says the same thing in his books. There are men who are working on themselves, no doubt. I think I am totally misunderstood here.
    Women are more spiritually oriented than Men which many agree. The inner power of understanding which they have is unique, which only highly spiritual men can have. One cannot expect ordinary men to understand this. Why do ordinary men behave irresponsibly, have Women understood that ? I doubt. First of all a Woman should know the MAJOR difference between her own sexuality and of a Man. This is the root problem. All, social, personal, global, spiritual problems have their root here. Unless, you understand this root, you cannot solve any problem. Yet, she expects man to understand her. Tell me, how many women are aware about the Fact that a Woman is 9 times more sexually passionate than a Man ? And another paradoxical Fact that yet it is ONLY A WOMAN who can control her sexual urges in comparison with a MAN ??….It is only these urges that make BOTH of them a SLAVE to each other. Motherhood is natural in Women, but Fatherhood is something which is created by society for convenience and harmony. I believe it is the duty of a Woman to lovingly teach a Man to be a good Father and not expect him to behave like one as soon as the child arrives………Few spiritually oriented Men all over the world are aware of these facts, but they are afraid to speak their minds in public. There should be no gender bias, but even women themselves willingly participate in such things which can never Empower her!……. I write down my thoughts with confidence and conviction because I have faced these problems for years and have solved them through experimenting, meditating and believing in God……One has to know our own MIND thoroughly, which can be made into an enemy or friend, choice is ours.
    What Emma Watson says is all good words, sounds good. But she is too young and inexperienced to understand the problems of Men and Women, FREEDOM is too far away…………….when you expect the other person to change, are you really FREE ?……. Movies and novels show us what is not true and women are more blinded by this Illusion and Utopia than Men in general are. How can both take the plunge together ? Someone has to take the initiative ?…. Ordinary men don’t even want the women to take any initiative, it is the spiritually oriented who say this because in their lives they have been the better halves !
    And I appreciate Grace, for her courage to speak her mind openly.. …May the best happen to her!!

  15. Lotus permalink
    October 3, 2014 6:16 am

    Inner and outer changes are not separate from each other. When you change inside, like letting go, feeling inferior etc etc, you make a change outside. The change in the outer level happens because of the inside.
    The one who feels he or she is a victim needs to change, because his counterpart is enjoying his sadism, so why should he feel a need to change. All this beautiful talk , sermon, speeches do not affect Men at all….. This highly intellectual language is only understood by the like.
    Evolved people are already into positive action, so HOW can you make the less evolved MEN aware that that they need to work on themselves ???……..What this site is doing is only trying to convince women more and more which they already believe to be true. The need of the hour is to unlearn what has been taught by the society to be true, than what is ACTUALLY TRUE!
    Truth Is not sweet, it is bitter and unpalatable . If we really want FREEDOM, we should take the step to seek it than to agree to things which we already are agreeing throughout , which is the SOURCE of all our problems.
    Praising and appreciating or expecting the same from others is not going to solve our problems, but accepting the opposite is. Learn from the stories of Sun Baer and Quan am…. what did they do ? Did they expect the men to change ? or they saw the whole situation as a positive opportunity ?
    Saints were all sinners in the past, and have reached there only through hard work and taking “shit” from others. Believe me, this is the language we all understand and there is NO OTHER WAY !!

  16. October 3, 2014 12:36 pm

    Lisa, thank you Lisa for posting your blog. I find many truths in the post and responses. I think it’s important for us as women to have a safe forum like this to express our truths and understandings. I also believe the truth as we know it, changes as we change our perspective and understanding. Where we come from on the inside for me is vitally important. How it expresses in us and manifests in the outside world will be different depending on our circumstances. The rising of the divine feminine and the harmony of the divine masculine and feminine is a new energy for all of us. I want to be sensitive to not moving into the the distorted masculine energy of there is only one way one truth, power over instead of empowered from within open to all. There is so much wisdom in what each of the posts convey. We don’t have to agree with it all. I appreciate thinking about and pondering points I hadn’t thought about. Thank you all.

  17. October 3, 2014 2:35 pm

    Hi Lotus, I appreciate your thoughts. I realize you are fairly new to my blog, and not that familiar with my teaching and energy work, so it’s hard to convey this discussion properly without that background. Believe me, all I do is try and help women to access their power to change inwardly! So there’s no disagreement there, and I respect all you are saying about your own path as a man. I like to keep this blog very peaceful and healing feeling, as it is primarily meant to be a place for women to come for specific women’s energetics tools and techniques. This discussion seems to be getting more theoretical, so I think I will just let it stand as it is for now, and not respond to your specific statements. If you’d like to discuss it more by email, I’d happily do so, you can contact me through my contact page. Thanks! – Lisa

  18. October 3, 2014 3:04 pm

    Hi Bonnie, thanks for bringing in the energy of openness and expansion in your comment:-)

  19. Lotus permalink
    October 6, 2014 3:32 pm

    I never had the expectation in the first place that anyone should agree with what I say through their replies, neither am I interested in any kind of discussion. I know that some of them are already in tune, some may disagree and others would take time to understand ………Spiritual truths have always been misunderstood or taken ages to understand by individuals. We all grow individually, we just cannot grow at the same time together. There would always be a superior and and an inferior between two individuals On soul level we are all equal…….. In this new age many of us are speaking without any inhibitions, unlike in ancient times when they preferred to be silent.
    I know that I speak a different language here,and so, neither would I want to comment further. Every person is right and trying their best at their own level of consciousness……..

    Lisa, you may please carry on with your work, don’t worry , I would not like to be a hindrance in your purpose. I was already aware of my being a misfit here when I sent my second response in another topic of yours…..anyways…..All the best!

  20. October 6, 2014 3:50 pm

    Hi Lotus, I mentioned the audience only because I wasn’t sure if you were aware that many of the women visiting here are working to heal from sexual trauma and abuse, that is one of my main energetics focuses. So I am a bit sensitive about what is written here, because I want everything to be supporting that healing. I know where you are coming from when you spoke of sexual energy because I am aware of the teachings behind what you said, but worry that the way it was said may come across incorrectly to someone not familiar with those – as if to say that men can’t be expected to take control of this energy. That is too close in my mind to the many ‘blame the victim’ cultural messages that women survivors of sexual abuse and trauma hear all of the time. I am sure that is not what you meant, but I feel it is important to clarify. Sexual abuse and assault are abuses of power and acts of violation, they are not about a surplus of sexual energy. So that is what I was reacting to, and I am writing this message now to clarify that for any woman who may be reading this.

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