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Working with Your Sexual Energy – Part I

September 28, 2012

Second Chakra Yantra

What do you think is the most common Women’s Energetics question I receive by email? I think many people assume it’s related to healing the second chakra from abuse or trauma, because unfortunately so many women experience this, but that’s not it. The most common question I actually receive is about how to manage sexual energy. Many women feel either that their sexual energy is too low, or too high, and in either case, they are looking for advice from an energetics perspective on what to do about it.

To some extent, I think the frequency of this question is a reflection of our cultural discomfort with issues of sexuality and sexual energy – despite the fact that sexual imagery is everywhere. As is well-established by now, most of those images are male-oriented – they represent men’s sexual fantasies, as opposed to women’s. We aren’t nearly as comfortable with women’s sexuality, and that contributes to many women feeling as if their sexual energy isn’t ‘right’, no matter what.

I decided it was time to write more about it here, in a two part series posting this and next week, based on the questions I have received by email over the years. I am hoping some of you will post comments too – anonymously if you wish – so we can get a healthy dialogue going about it. And men can chime in too – I am writing mostly from the perspective of women’s sexual energy because that is who I hear from, but I welcome all (respectful) questions and comments. This topic can be dicey to discuss online because of search engines’ touchiness (as I learned when posting a Google ad for my upcoming teleseminar for sexual abuse survivors, which was initially denied as being for an ‘Escort Service.’) Hopefully I can avoid any search engine blacklisting of this post! I am also trying not to repeat material I’ve already covered in my Second Chakra Series or Chakra Overview pages.

From the perspective of the energy healing and spiritual traditions that discuss women’s sexual energy, there are really 3 main principles that I think are the most important to understand:

1) Sexual energy in women is rooted in the second or sacral chakra, while for men it’s rooted in the first or root chakra. Understanding the differences between these chakras helps illuminate a lot of the differences between men’s and women’s sexual energies – and their relationship to it.

2) Sexuality is just one expression of sacral chakra energy – the most physical one, and the one most culturally supported. But we can channel this energy into many different areas of our life if we so choose.

3) All the themes of the sacral chakra are interconnected – emotions, creativity, sensuality, sexuality, and fluidity. Issues in one area can trigger issues in another. Growth in one area can trigger growth in others. The energy call also be consciously channeled from one area to another.

So let’s work through these one at a time, and what they mean to you:

In both genders, the genitalia are associated with the root chakra, and the internal reproductive organs and glands (prostate in men, ovaries in women) are associated with the second or sacral chakra. A man’s kundalini energy, and his sexual energy, are primarily expressed energetically through his root chakra, and therefore more linked to themes of that chakra, while a woman’s are linked to her sacral chakra and its themes.

Every chakra has both an emanating and receiving aspect, and when we talk about sexual energy, we might mean either. When a woman exudes sexual energy, it’s one expression of her sacral chakra energy, and it reflects all of the energies we associate with this chakra – passion, sensuality, and fluidity (in the sense of not being rigid/frigid.) This is the emanating aspect of this energy.

Energetically, the actual experience of sexual desire in a woman is part of the centripetal/receptive aspect of this chakra  – a desire to pull someone to her. This is the biological role women play in procreation too, and this is mirrored on the subtle level. The inward-pulling action of a women’s second chakra is one of its defining characteristics, and something that plays a large role in many sacred sexuality traditions – a woman’s sacral chakra is seen as a vortex into Source itself.

Sexual energy is just one expression of sacral chakra energy though. For the most part, when we talk about sexual energy in this culture, we are talking about a very physically-based energy. It is hormonally-driven and experienced, and is a reflection of our biological drive to procreate and survive as a species. These are some of the big themes of the root chakra and certainly this part of both men’s and women’s experience of sexual energy, even though women are more focused in their sacrals. But sacral chakra energy (in both genders) has a lot of other forms of expression, and in socio-cultural messages, that is not widely honored, so that it can be difficult for women in particular to connect with the full range of their sacral chakra energies. They can only experience it sexually.

This is what I sometimes find to be the case in women who feel they have too much sexual energy, and feel it is a distraction. Often they have a huge buildup of sacral energy, but have not learned other ways of channeling this energy, and so it becomes solely expressed sexually. Finding other ways to express sacral energy, as well as ways to move it both down into the root (related to manifesting) and upward into the upper chakras (related to spiritual growth) is the subject of next week’s post.

The other side of the coin is women who feel they have difficulty accessing their sexual energy, and would like to free up this energy. Often there is healing work to be done around this, either from abuse and trauma, or from religious and parental messages that instilled shame over feminine sexuality. In these cases, the sacral energy is shutdown in some way – either caged because this feels ‘safer’ or simply blocked from a sense of wounding. Sometimes women develop coping mechanisms that involve a very strong navel chakra, but this can be exhausting because it’s all about being driven by will rather than passion. Since I’ve written so much on sacral chakra healing before (and one more plug – this is part of the next 2 teleseminars I’m doing) I won’t go into it in detail here, but even after or while this healing work is going on, there is still often additional work needed to really open up the flow and owning of this energy.

One of the most helpful tools for doing so is to really find ways to connect to the other, non-sexual, expressions of the second chakra – again, those are emotions, sensuality, creativity, and fluidity. Activities that bring out your passion will light up this chakra, and this can really be anything! You may passionate about music, or food, or candles, or cats! Any topic or activity that you adore and engage with emotionally will help stimulate this chakra. Finding sensual activities will too – engaging with the sights, sounds, smells, and textures of any activity you enjoy, from hiking to quilting to painting. For it to awaken sacral energies you need to focus in on the moment-to-moment sense-experience though, as opposed to the ‘goal’.

Creativity and fluidity are important too. We are all creative, so finding the outlet that works for you is key. It might be expressed through your personal style, or decor, or problem solving. Or it might involve dancing around your living room alone, which also awakens your fluidity! When we talk about fluidity, we mean the opposite of rigidity – physical, emotional, and mental. So finding activities that open you up to something, that might even involve a manageable level of risk, can get your sacral juices flowing again. Especially when recovering from sacral wounding, finding ‘baby-step’ ways to allow more flow and unpredictability into your life can be very important, because a kind of ‘box’ has been placed around the sacral chakra as a form of protection.

There is a reciprocal action that occurs, when we focus on the non-sexual expressions of the sacral, that can help awaken the sexual aspect too. As we get more comfortable with this energy, we can begin to own it in its entirety, not only as sexual or non-sexual. We can come to feel it in ourselves as part of our humanity, part of our femininity and part of our spirituality. I’ve talked a bit about this in the second chakra series, but will talk more about sacred sexuality, and ways to channel sexual energy into its other aspects, in the second post of this series.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your comments, questions and experiences with your own sexual energy, and what it means to you. I know this can be a sensitive subject, so feel free to post anonymously if you like:-) (just logout first if you are a WordPress user.) Namaste-

Sexual Energy Part II

27 Comments leave one →
  1. Pam permalink
    September 28, 2012 7:36 pm

    So glad you are tackling this:-) This difference between men’s sexuality being founded in the root chakra while women’s is in the second would seem to explain a lot…I think of the root chakra as being very ‘tribal’ and possessive, or at least very material, while the second is tied to the emotions as you say. I know we can’t get too general, as of course there is a lot of individual variation, but it would seem that in this culture we really do seem to associate sexuality with root chakra expressions of it. It’s all very physically based – both in terms of physical attraction and experience. And this leads to a lot of problems, including the sexual violence we experience.

    Are you going to talk more about Tantra in next week’s post too?

  2. September 28, 2012 7:41 pm

    Hi Pam, I agree about the root chakra/second chakra man/woman thing. Although not all traditions map it like this – as you know, I am more focused on the traditions that do acknowledge energetic differences between men and women at the subtle body level, while some traditions don’t. And it is easy to get trapped in generalizing, but yes, culturally our expressions of sexuality are very male and physical. But I’m also careful about discussing the roots of sexual violence. I think these differences and how they have played out in our culture contribute to it, but really sexual predators have very deep dysfunctions that stem from a variety of different issues, most of which are power (navel) oriented, as opposed to root or sacral oriented. A touchy, complicated subject!

    I will be talking about Tantra a little within the context of spiritual channeling of sacral energy. Although I don’t want to repeat what I wrote in the second chakra series. We’ll see how it comes out! Thanks for commenting. – Lisa

  3. September 28, 2012 9:18 pm

    thank you so much for this post…i have to say, it was very timely. this is certainly a touchy subject. as someone who has experienced sexual abuse at a young age, i am just coming to terms with what i feel is an overabundance of sexual energy, to the point of compulsion or addiction. however, this comes with what i’ll call emotional frigidity, and a lack of fluidity and passion in many other areas of my life, so while i may have an overly open second chakra in some ways, it is very closed in others. it is not a black and white kind of thing. working with the second chakra is turning out to be the key to finding happiness and peace not only in a healthy, committed relationship, but in my work, my health and wellness, and spiritual life. seeing my sexual energy as creative force that is inherently a part of being a woman has been HUGE for me, as has confronting shame and my sexual shadow, both of which are also second chakra issues. please keep writing more on this topic. the second chakra is something women need to keep engaging with, learning about, and becoming more aware of throughout their lives, especially when those lives are carried out within a patriarchal system.

  4. September 28, 2012 10:16 pm

    Having participated in a Tantric Sex workshop last week, this topic is still top of my mind. Thank you for covering it. One very interesting thing I learned in the workshop was that you can channel your sexual energy or feelings of arousal into any part of your body that needs healing, just like you can channel it into manifestation. I look forward to your second post on moving sacral chakra energy. Namaste!
    Becca Chopra
    http://www.thechakras.org

  5. September 29, 2012 1:11 am

    I too agree on the timeliness of the post. It seems very revelant right now. For me personally I look forward to reading your thoughts and directions on how to channel the energy. I feel I resonate from both my first and my second chakra in regards to sexual energy on a whole. I can also see the male female roles. I like the thought of learning different outlets versus the traditional.

    Always a pleasure to follow along. Have a great weekend.

  6. September 29, 2012 1:16 am

    Tamezoujt – thanks so much for commenting and sharing your experience. You are so right, working with the second chakra (or any of them) is not black and white at all. And often we do allow this energy to flow in one direction (in your case physically) and not in others (emotional, fluidity), and really owning it is about opening up all the areas. Culturally it definitely gets ‘channeled’ into the material/physical/procreative level. And that social energy can actually ‘lock’ us into that – so if other areas are blocked because of wounding, it ALL gets channeled into the physical expression, and it can be very overwhelming. Next week I’ll talk about more ways to rechannel it. I love this statement of yours “seeing my sexual energy as creative force that is inherently a part of being a woman has been HUGE for me”….

  7. September 29, 2012 1:19 am

    Hi Becca, that’s a wonderful way of rechanneling it. As I’m sure you know, healing traditions have long connected the creative/regenerative energies of the second chakra and energy healing, and it’s why healers (and seers) in some cultures were celibate or virgin – so that ALL the second chakra energy could be channeled that way, usually into the hands. But redirecting it ourselves into parts of our body that need to heal sounds wonderful too. Thanks for commenting:-)

  8. September 29, 2012 1:24 am

    Clairvoyantgirl – it’s interesting we seem to be having a ‘moment’ right now in terms of discussion of sexual energy culturally. There was so much conversation around the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, and although I haven’t read it and am not really all that interested, it has opened up a discussion about our social resistance to women’s sexual fantasies and the full spectrum they may take…also the discussions about the papyrus that implies Jesus may have had a wife, and all the discussions about spirituality and celibacy that that has triggered in some circles…so the timeliness seems everywhere…and a lot of it is about upending traditionally held roles…

  9. September 29, 2012 3:06 am

    50 shades did throw the genal public in what seemed a torrent of self discovery for many women. I have and am a very sexual being and have never fully understood the taboo with it. Ok…I do understand it, I just have chosen to rebel against it, I do that sometimes just to show that you can.

    Religiously It also intrigues me. I could and still don’t understand how something so beautiful can be so forbidden in many cultures, religions and societies.
    It goes back I suppose to control.

    Again I tell you thank you for your insight and knowledge. Look forward to more!

    Jackie

  10. Anonymous permalink
    September 29, 2012 4:15 pm

    These posts are amazing mommymystic….I started writing as a form of expression and healing and its helping me immensely (you even came in and liked one post of mine- thank you)…I read many of your post and found them to be very useful for me personally…I thank you…
    A box around the sexual energy because of parental and religious upbringing is what I am dealing with..I am looking forward to read more ….

  11. September 29, 2012 9:36 pm

    Hi Anon, I’m glad this resonated for you. Yes, writing has been a big part of my healing also, in part because it did open up my creative energies, and helped me own my sacral energy in that way. Motherhood did as well. Yes, a ‘box’ based on parental and religious upbringing is so common, and part of what we are all globally shifting I think…Thanks for sharing your story. – Lisa

  12. September 29, 2012 9:58 pm

    hi lisa, this part got my attention can you talk more about it – “Sometimes women develop coping mechanisms that involve a very strong navel chakra, but this can be exhausting because it’s all about being driven by will rather than passion.”

  13. September 30, 2012 8:26 am

    Hi Lisa! Years ago, when I was involved in a number of healing disciplines, I learned that our chakras are out of balance when we fail to own the issues that lie rooted there. In treating people who have been sexually abused (I was too), I found the energies in the sacral chakra to be either ‘overactive’ or ‘blocked’ to some degree. After much work with these people and through the work I did on myself, I realized that our ideas about ourselves as women, individuals, mothers, daughters…etc are at the source of the energy generation, however it manifests. In sexual abuse, the abuser is an instrument used by Universal Intelligence/True Self/God, to point out the source of our problems. When we analyze the idea of what abuse really means, we discover the abusive ideas that we hold about our womanhood, ideas that lie hidden in the sacral chakra. When these ideas are dealt with (it takes time, a specific process and a mature ‘patient’) the balance returns and the individual returns to a healthy lifestyle with a good sexual relationship with their partner.

    Our sexuality correlates directly with our creativity. Women may be creative in certain respects out in the world, but where it counts the most, we do not utilize this power. Rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence, etc, are all instruments that are used to make us see our own abuse of a latent power that if harnessed will create great shifts in the world. Women are responsible for these shifts, and we live in a man’s world because we have not yet reclaimed our full power. While we must acknowledge the pain we went through during the abusive years, we must eventually move to a new phase of dealing with the message that it brings. The sacral chakra holds all this information. Each of us have a job to do, a specific purpose that lies hidden beneath the dysfunction of the chakra. As we root it out, so it returns to its normal healthy function. The only way to heal ourselves, and to heal the minds of abusive men (remember they are our husbands, sons, brothers) is to go to the source of our un-utilized power and use it. Our sacral chakras, believe it or not, will hold vital information as to the male orientation of our respective families (this is a bit complex…)

    Its a big subject Lisa, and this is my take on it, based on the work I did with a number of people who went through abuse or rape. All these people were ready to tackle this level of responsibility. We’re all in different places at different times, and the treatments have to be based on the assessment of readiness, as you well know.

    Thanks for dealing with this Lisa. It’s a huge responsibility and a big challenge. I admire you for it! Lots of love, Yaz

  14. September 30, 2012 1:24 pm

    Hi Lisa,
    I am at a loss for words to describe how truly stunning it is for me to read your lucid words, describing the specific journey I have been on the past ten years. After 8 abdominal surgeries, one in which a complication blew an inch and a half wound through my belly button, I can attest to the power of healing this chakra and learning to live in it authentically as healing and empowering. Obviously, in this lifetime I was screaming at myself to relearn the culture’s messages…..

    I feel like I can not absorb any more right now or I would be in on that Teleseminar. My mom is going through her own major second and root chakra trauma at this time and I am focused on helping her. But I am hanging on your every word!!!

    Blessings on your journey and thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

    xo

  15. September 30, 2012 3:02 pm

    Hi AK, we all develop coping mechanisms, and in childhood abuse survivors in particular, this often involves disconnecting from their physical and emotional bodies/energies and living in a mental realm. Many survivors describe ‘going away’ while being abused. As you may know, the navel chakra is linked to our mental body, and I’ve found that many survivors actually have very strong navel chakra energies, which might seem surprising, since abuse is so disempowering and the navel chakra is linked to our personal power. And certainly there are abuse survivors who find difficulty manifesting their power in any life situation – in many ways they are entirely in their upper chakras, disconencted from the lower, or playing out situations related to the lower over and over. But many survivors are almost the opposite – very powerful in their careers or other areas in their life that involve the use of will. They have in fact developed the ability to use their navel chakra almost in isolation, disconnected from the support of the root or the passion of the sacral to fuel it. Ideally, all of the chakras are in balance and supporting one another, and the navel in particular draws up from the root and sacral energies. So to rely wholly on the navel chakra is exhausting. Life is like a constant battle of your will. You feel like if you let go for a second everything will fall apart. It literally feels like you are holding up your world with your will – and protecting yourself – and if you let go, it will all come tumbling down.

    I should say that not only abuse survivors develop this coping mechanism by the way – it actually is quite a common one in our culture, which emphasizes personal success and determination so much. But whatever the cause, reconnecting the root and sacral with the navel can be such a relief. Experiencing our power as supported and grounded (root), and fueled by our passion and creativity (sacral) can really change someone’s relationship to their lives.

  16. September 30, 2012 3:09 pm

    Hi Yaz, thanks for sharing your perspective and mode of working. I work with this model of the chakras too, and I do believe all of this work is part of a larger shift going on also, as I’m sure you know if you’ve seen my second chakra series. As we each work individually, we contribute to the larger shift. It is wonderful to find more and more people doing this work. I also think it’s important to work at the level appropriate for someone, as you mention. I find that often the rage at the abuser needs to be owned first, and then someone can shift into the lessons. So many survivors have developed coping mechanisms around relying on mental realms (see my response to AK) that they are eager to understand their abuse in philosophical terms, but then miss actually going into the energetic wounds in order to release them. So I definitely urge both psychological and/or somatic healing work too, so that the full range of emotions, which are so often repressed, can be processed in a safe, supportive way. Then the larger lessons can be understood and owned, and the shift into a new ownership of the sacral energies experienced. Thanks for commenting.

  17. September 30, 2012 3:12 pm

    Hi Cate, yes I know so many of your posts have resonated for me too because of the related healing journey you have been on. And thanks for sharing your story, because it shows how differently these lessons might manifest in our lives. And helping others is such a big part of the learning journey, so be with your mom and blessings to her in her healing. XO

  18. September 30, 2012 4:28 pm

    Yes your quite right Lisa. I spent a lot of time in the mental realms before I dealt with the wounds. It really is important to go through the phases of healing. I love what you do and look forward to reading more articles on the subject.

  19. Anonymous permalink
    October 2, 2012 4:10 am

    Hi, thanks for taking this on. So this is interesting to me – you are saying that working on the other themes of the sacral chakra – creativity, fluidity, emotions, etc. will actually help increase libido? I am a post-menopausal woman that has experienced a big drop in my libido, as happens with many women at this phase of life. I am wondering if this will apply to me.

  20. October 2, 2012 4:29 pm

    Hi Anon, Yes, basically, from an energetic perspective, this might help. As I’m sure you know, from a physical perspective, the hormonal shifts that your body undergoes at menopause is part of what contributes to the drop in libido, which is common, and there are many conventional, alternative, and natural remedies that may help with rebalancing your hormonal system. But at the subtle level, sacral energy is no less available to you, and in fact, post-menopausal it may even be more available to you on a deeper level (or can be.) Some woman have difficulty accessing it in this way because many of the cultural messages around menopause make us feel less feminine – as if our feminine days are over. But in fact, it is the flowering of our ‘wise woman’ phase, and can be the peak of our personal power, not its denouement, and in that sense sacral energy actually heightens. Because of the physical shifts, it may not as naturally be channeled into physical expression however, and as I say in the post sexual energy as we normally think of it is a physical expression of sacral chakra energy. For some woman this is a relief, because they are better able to express the other sacral areas. On the other hand, if you haven’t yet explored these other aspects of yourself, then the sacral energy may drop off.

    This is all a long way of saying, yes! Try experimenting with new activities that open the other expressions of your sacral energy – sensuality, creativity, fluidity, emotions. Try belly dancing. Or painting. Or anything that strikes you as free, passionate, and creative. Getting that sacral energy flowing may open you to a new kind of sexual energy then too.

  21. October 8, 2012 12:58 pm

    Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for your posts. I have quoted your site and work in my weekly newsletter, but cant seem to find a mail address to double you ?

    Paul Carlos – Sacred Spiral

  22. October 8, 2012 6:37 pm

    Hi Paul, thanks for your support, my email address is lameditation [at] earthlink [dot] net – please just replace the parenthesis, I don’t list it outright to prevent spam. Thanks!

  23. October 9, 2012 8:20 pm

    Thank you for your inspiring post!!!

  24. October 10, 2012 2:09 am

    Reblogged this on Journeying to the Goddess and commented:
    “Many women feel either that their sexual energy is too low, or too high, and in either case, they are looking for advice from an energetics perspective on what to do about it.” Here is the first post in a 3 part series that I’m sure will be wonderful and empowering that Mommy Mystic is sharing and I wanted to share with you all as well.

  25. spiralsacredspiral permalink
    October 15, 2012 3:49 am

    Thanks Lisa, will do

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  1. Working with Your Sexual Energy – Part II « Mommy Mystic
  2. Trauma Healing, Feminine Empowerment and Ancient Egypt Mysticism « Everyday Miracles

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