Interview with Paul Martin, author of Original Faith, on the Spiritual Journey

Thanks for all your comments on my Women’s Energy Body post, they were very helpful to me. Sorry I have been MIA on the blogosphere the last couple of weeks, some visitors have kept me occupied – first family (fun) then flu (not so fun, but not so bad either, compared to some.) And truthfully, between the holidays and some contemplation and reading I would like to get done, I will probably be a bit erratic online for the rest of this year.

But first, I want to bring you this interview with a favorite fellow blogger of mine, Paul Martin of Original Faith. Paul guest-posted earlier this year, and I finally was able to read his book, also entitled Original Faith, this summer (and reviewed it on Amazon recently.) After doing so, I wanted to speak with Paul in person, and did so by phone for this interview a couple of weeks ago. I was glad we got to speak, because his grace-filled presence came through so strongly. He has truly walked the walk, spiritually speaking, and I felt such a centering power and peace emanating from him as we talked.

This is moving in anyone, but considering that Paul has suffered from a debilitating, progressive, and undiagnosed disease for the last sixteen years, and at this point has extremely limited mobility, I found it even more profound. In a spiritual culture that I sometimes feel accentuates positivity and ‘getting the life we want’ over insight and love, it was wonderful to sense such a true awakening in someone for whom physical life has certainly not gone as planned.

After chatting a bit about the nature of the publishing business (which Paul also spoke about in a recent interview for Writers Inspired), we dove into the book’s content. Because I am so interested in personal experience, I focused a lot in this interview on this aspect of Paul’s book  – you can get a fuller sense of the book’s content and his background from his blog and the Amazon reviews.

Paul, your own conscious spiritual quest was triggered by a profound and spontaneous mystic (my word!) experience that you had in your twenties. Prior to it, you had entered into a pretty deep depression – can you talk a bit about that?

Yes, I had gotten myself into a deep hole. I think there are several different types of depression, and in my own case it was really driven by the relentless scientific reading and studying I was doing  – that the earth would inevitably explode into hydrogen and the like – and my perception of their being so much evil in the world. I was just deeply struck by the meaninglessness of life in that context. I think if my personal life had been happier perhaps it would not have hit me so strongly, but the combination over time really took me to the point where I think I would have committed suicide by age 30. I had lost touch with any kind of hope or faith. I think you can get to this place beyond any kind of meaning, and that’s where I had gotten myself.

As I say in my book, I don’t think anyone needs to go through an experience of despair like this. I hope this is clear, because I don’t want to romanticize it. In my case, despair was both psychological and existential, brought on by my unhappiness in my life and my questioning and line of thinking. And really, my mystic experience, as you called it, really saved me.

Did the despair never return? Was it instantly gone from that moment forward? Did it not return, even in the midst of what you have gone through with your illness?

The despair, the sense of meaninglessness, did go away. My world shifted completely that day. I don’t know why or how and I still look back in awe of it. In a way I have never experienced anything like it again. But I also haven’t needed to.

When my disease first surfaced, I did go through a natural progression of emotions about it, and there was grief and frustration. I was misdiagnosed at first, and to make a long story short was told I needed to exercise more, and pursued that vigorously, only to find it didn’t help. Then on my own I had to gradually figure out that I didn’t have what I had been told, and go through many more series of tests, all to no avail. All the while the disease was, and is, relentlessly progressive. At this point I literally appear to have something no one else on the planet has ever had!

But no, that kind of despair never came back. There was always this ground, this faith, that never left me from that day.

When you look back at the experience now, why do you think it occurred? Do you think in terms of grace?

I honestly don’t know. As I said, the spiritual process doesn’t unfold this way for everyone. But it does seem that for some, a bottoming-out type experience is the turning point. I once read an explanation in William James’ Varieties of Religious Experience that does seem relevant. Basically, he said that in some of us the conscious and unconscious are so separate that things ‘builds up’ in the unconscious to a tremendous degree, and then explode to the surface in an experience such as this. The barrier is bigger, so to speak, so the breakthrough feels bigger too.

In your book, you call it a ‘conversion’ experience, so I want to know, a conversion to what? What do you consider yourself – do you consider yourself Christian?

You know, that is my background as a child, and I don’t mind if people think of me as Christian. Some of the language of the book is Christian, and I do use some Biblical quotes. But the quotes aren’t meant to be interpreted in just a Christian context. I don’t think I really think of myself as anything. I think of spirituality as outside religion. And I am glad more people are starting to see it that way too. I see spirituality as being a human thing. And at the level of doctrine there really is no way for the different religions to be resolved. So I am glad more people are focusing on the experiential aspect. To me, spirituality is experiential, not doctrinal.

Although this is not really a traditional self-help or how-to book, you do talk about spiritual practice, and some techniques that you at one point found helpful. Do you still engage in formal practice of any kind?

Well, physically I can no longer do many of the practices I describe in the book. I cannot formally sit for meditation, and even breathing exercises can be difficult. But it is interesting, gradually as the disease has progressed – and really I noticed it before this too – I have felt less of a need for it. I have not felt disconnected, so I have not felt the need to practice to feel connected. It is like a part of me is always there in meditation, and I move away from that less and less. It’s not that I’m ‘there’ all the time, but I do know it is always there for me to connect to.

The need for a certain kind of practice fell away. Integration of your experience occurred in the 15 years while you were writing the book, after your initial experience.

Yes, and this was where I was going in the end of the book, in the ‘Owning the Greater Claim’ chapter, which was actually very hard for me to communicate – the movement I felt from practicing to living in a world-centered, rather than self-minded, way.

I’m glad you went there, because a lot of spiritual material doesn’t these days. As we’ve sometimes discussed on your blog, it seems too often to stop at personal happiness. For me, you went beyond where a lot of books stop.

Yes, I know what you mean. I can’t read a lot of books anymore, but based on the blogs and things that I have read, there is a strong focus on happiness, and ridding yourself of negativity. And I do think that is useful. Happiness is great, of course! But I think there is a bit of hype, of overstatement, going on sometimes. Just look at the world. Bad things happen. There is nothing that will guarantee you nothing bad will ever happen to you. This is the first noble truth in Buddhism, right? ‘There is suffering’. And it’s not meant to be a depressing observation. It’s meant to convey that there is something beyond just getting rid of negativity, of relentlessly pursuing happiness.

In this way, my disease has really underscored this for me. Many of the things that brought me happiness I can no longer do. I actually haven’t been on the phone, before talking to you, in 2 weeks. I can’t go out in nature or exercise or any of that any longer, and I really don’t know how much longer I can blog. But underlying everything is this…greater peace, or peacefulness. This can be found regardless of circumstance. Happiness is great, but there is more. And you have to look beyond happiness for that.

Thank you so much Paul. I was wondering if you have any final thoughts you would want to leave the readers with? Really, what do you think the essential thing is that you would like everyone to know/contemplate in terms of their own journey here?

That a sense of trust in life or existence is part of being human, regardless of whether you connect it to religious or spiritual beliefs. Faith is unconditional, and becoming aware of this helps you to act on your love with greater purpose, passion, and dedication.

Namaste.

Paul and I will both be checking for comments when we can, so please do share your own thoughts or questions.

10 Characteristics of Women’s Energy Bodies

First off, a shout-out to a book I never thought I would be shouting out (and which really doesn’t need my help to sell!): Dan Brown’s latest The Lost Symbol. He’s gone in a much more interesting direction in this one: Noetic science, merging ancient mystical teachings with modern physics. He references everything from Lynne McTaggart’s The Intention Experiment to the Zohar (a primary Kabbalah text) and practically every metaphysical and mystic system ever developed by man. Plus all the modern quantum physics stuff featured in movies like What The Bleep Do We Know?, The Living Matrix and others (many of which my friend Jenny Mannion over at Heal Pain Naturally has reviewed at some point if you are interested.) So if this is your thing, check it out.

Now for the topic at hand: More on women’s energy or subtle bodies. Recently, I have been reviewing the various theories on women’s energy systems that I have read over the years, from both spiritual and energy medicine sources. I was making a list of the various properties attributed specifically to women’s energy bodies for myself, and realized some of you might be interested. Although I’ve touched on many of these themes before, I’ve never put it all together in one post.

I’m interested to hear which of these theories resonate the most with you – which ones in your experience, and according to your intuition, seem true. And that goes for men too, because the implication in many of these is that men are the opposite or different from women on each of the counts. Ok, here goes:

1) Women’s Energy is Centripetal, Men’s is Centrifugal

The idea here is that by default women’s energy circles inward, and is therefore attractive, drawing things towards it, while by default men’s energy cycles outwards, projecting rather than attracting. Both men and women can control and reverse this with their intent (conscious or unconscious) but by default women’s energy is centripetal and men’s is centrifugal. This especially comes into play with sexual energy, and the different ways the two sexes try and attract sexual partners. It also comes into play in families, with the women in any familial group said to be the energetic ‘organizing principle’, because of this centripetal quality.

2) Women’s Energy Bodies are More Sensitive/Absorbant, Men’s are More Solid/Protective

Women’s energy bodies are also generally said to be more sensitive to external energies, and more likely to absorb these energies, rather than repel them. This has pros and cons, as external energy can serve as the ‘raw data’ for intuition, but absorbing too much energy, or the wrong kind, can deplete or disperse a women’s energy field more quickly in certain situations, for example, in a large crowd.

3) Women’s Energy is More Fluid, Men’s More Fixed

Related to the idea that women’s energy bodies are more receptive is the idea that they are more fluid – that they change more rapidly and more often than men’s, in response to the environment and other people. In nature, this can mean that women merge energetically with their environment more readily and quickly, and the same thing in a group of people (so obviously this also has pros and cons, depending on what you are merging with.)

4) Women’s Energy Bodies are More Expansive

Also along these lines is the idea that women can expand their energy fields to encompass others around them more readily (think Bella as a vampire in the Twilight series if you have read it.) Personally, I am not so sure on this one, apart from a mother’s energetic relationship with her children (which I’ll get to in a minute), as I have seen more men with powerful protective abilities in this regard, perhaps because I have known many martial artists. The centrifugal nature of men’s energy seems to actually make their energy fields more readily expandable, in this sense, to me.

5) Women’s Energy Bodies are Fertile Ground for Energy Lines

This one is a touchy one. The idea with this one is that in interactions with others, and especially in close relationships, women become the anchor line energetically for both parties. In sexual terms, some traditions teach that a woman actually gets an energy line ‘planted’ in her energy body with every sexual encounter, that can take years to cut if she wishes to do so (and that this is not the case, or at least less so, for men.) But it’s not just sexual energy lines, it’s really in all kinds of relationships – the idea is that women naturally harbor these lines. And that this can become especially problematic for us if we are ‘anchoring’ too many people for us to handle.

6) Maternal Energy Lines are Distinct, and Progress Through Time

This one concerns the energy line between mother and child. The idea is that the first 3-6 months after birth, a child really is an extension of his or her mother energetically – their energy fields are merged. Gradually over time this energy connection separates, and the child becomes a distinct energetic being, although a unique energy line remains between them for life. The energy line between father and child, or other relatives, is established through other means, through emotional bonding and history, rather than through this intrinsic energetic line.

7) A Women’s Energy Body is Cyclical

There are lots of variations on this one, but the primary one is that the nature of a women’s energy body shifts over the course of her menstrual cycle. Her energy body is ‘more’ of all the things listed above – centripetal, sensitive, fluid, etc. in the days leading up to menstruation, and especially right before and during, and then is a little less so in the days leading up to ovulation. So her energy body is always waxing and waning (moon cycle and all that!) in this way.

8 ) Women’s Energy Bodies Have Distinct Life Phases

Tied to this is the idea that women’s energy bodies go through very distinct shifts corresponding to the major reproductive-related physical changes they experience during their lifetime: The onset of menstruation, sexual maturity, pregnancy, nursing, perimenopause, and menopause. (I wrote about this a bit before, but there’s a lot more information out there on this.) This has implications for both their energy health and spiritual path at each point along the way.

9) The 2nd, or Sacral, Chakra Plays a  Unique Role in Women

Because of #s 6 – 8, the chakra or energy center related to women’s reproductive system, the 2nd or sacral chakra, plays a unique role in their personal power and energy health. Just as women and men are each at risk for different physical illnesses because of their physical and hormonal differences, they are at risk for different energetic issues as well. And in the case of the 2nd chakra, this means that any damage or blocks related to it are particularly damaging to women. And conversely, that a healthy 2nd chakra has even more benefits.

10) A Women’s Sacral Chakra is a Unique Spiritual Doorway

This comes up in some form in all the ’sacred feminine’ traditions, even in those that don’t define chakras per se. The idea is that the 2nd chakra (or corresponding area in other systems) in women can function like a portal, a doorway to other dimensions and to spiritual insight, in a way that in mainstream teachings usually only the third eye and crown chakra are said to.

As you can imagine, I could write on each of these for days. But first I really am interested to know which of these work for you and which don’t. I do think these differences are a spectrum, not absolute, so they are more relevant to some women than others (and for that matter, some men also.) Also, which of these are you more interested in hearing more about, if any?

The Anti-Dogma Dogma, in Parenting and Spirituality

There were several comments on the Tibetan Parenting post (thanks for those) that I would like to delve into more, but for this week I thought I would expand on what I said about relationship and intent being more important in parenting than philosophy. Several people commented on this, and as it happens, I have also been revisiting this same theme in terms of spiritual practice. Or perhaps I should say ‘formal’ spiritual practice, because if you’re of the opinion that we’re ’spiritual beings having a human experience’, than what in life isn’t spiritual practice?

I’ve written before about how motherhood initially made me realize how attached to my own meditation and certain meditation states I had become, and how in retrospect, having to let go of that opened me in ways that sitting practice never had. That being said, I’m a big believer in formal practice, for those that feel drawn to it. And not everyone is drawn to it – I think if the intent to awaken is there, we are drawn to whatever we personally need. Then staying true to that insight, and committing to it, becomes key.

With commitment however, comes something else, something that happens to almost every spiritual practitioner eventually – the ego tries to take over the spiritual process, a form of ’spiritual materialism’ as Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trunpga called it. An arrogance creeps in, based on experiences that are had, or insights that are gained, that our ego wants to ‘own’. And a superiority develops – a subtle one to be sure, as spiritual egos are the trickiest kind – based on the notion that those who are consciously pursuing light/truth/peace are leading the world to a better place, or living closer to God, or whatever. And often along with this comes the belief that the way we have discovered is in fact the superior way for everyone. Dogmatism arises, from what began as a very open and personal quest.

I was thinking about this in relation to parenting recently, after watching the movie Away We Go, directed by Sam Mendes, which I absolutely loved. Maggie Gyllenhaal gives a stellar comic performance as a continuum concept parent, which I won’t even begin to try and describe here, although I will say don’t let this be your introduction to continuum parenting (it is a comedy!) I think the whole scene is less a commentary on continuum parenting than on dogmatic parenting. And dogmatic parenting is just like dogmatic spirituality (or dogmatic politics, or dogmatic nutrition – you get the picture) – it becomes more about the ego, in this case the parent’s ego, than anything else. I think all too often when parenting is done this way, a parent can’t really ’see’ their own children and their needs, because they already ‘know’ what they need based on their own philosophy/story. And not seeing our kids, or anyone for that matter, becomes a much bigger issue than any particular parenting practice we might have.

I think what I have come to is that in both spirituality and parenting for me it is all about responsiveness. Is there an openness and fluidity? An intent to truly see/seek, to explore, as opposed to just sticking with what is comfortable or known? Or is there a defensiveness, a rigidity, that prevents new information, and feeds a sense of superiority? In the case of parenting, is there a willingness to truly see our kids and what it is that they as individuals need? While at the same time recognizing what we need as a human being, and trying to strike a healthy balance between our own needs and theirs, when they come into conflict? And on the spiritual path, is there true release and surrender going on? Or is there gripping – of beliefs, of superiority, of practices? And in both cases, is there a true recognition that this is a highly individual process, different for every seeker/every parent/every kid?

I realized recently that blogs have become one of the main ways I explore on both these fronts, and I’m frequently confronted with ideas on the blogs I read that are new to me, or that I’m not sure I agree with. And that’s good, because it’s very easy to get closed off. (Miruh at Spiritual Healing Journey covered this beautifully recently.) Personally, I am always on the lookout for a defensive reaction in my own mind, one that says very strongly ‘that can’t be true’ or ‘that can’t be right’. It’s not that I don’t have opinions – I actually have very strong opinions on some things, but I don’t want them to be unconscious or based on an emotional need. I think whenever there is an intense defensive reaction in our awareness to something that is said or read (you know what I mean, I know you do!) it’s often a sign of some emotional need to hold on to a belief, and that’s not the same thing as holding a belief because it’s been examined and known to ‘work’.

Of course trying to be anti-dogmatic can itself become dogmatic, something that I seem to pick up in non-duality type circles quite a bit – the idea that anyone dedicated to any practice other than simply ’seeing the truth directly’ is off track.  And really, trying to be completely un-dogmatic can take you down a rabbit hole very quickly (one of my favorite comic blogs, Monk Mojo, finds the humor in this brilliantly.) I do think you have to ‘pick a lane’ to some extent, in both spiritual practice and parenting. If you don’t do so in parenting, your kids will be completely confused, and if you don’t do so in spirituality, you’ll just end up smoking cigarettes alone in a dark cafe.

But like everything else, it’s all about striking a balance. Walking the razor’s edge. Swinging too far in one direction, realizing it, and swinging back. With honesty and humor, without self-punishment or guilt. Then, doing it all over again, on a hopefully subtler level. That’s the path. That’s life, from what I’ve seen of it so far.

I think the ‘without guilt’ part is particularly important, and particularly difficult. I’m all for personal responsibility, it’s just the self-punishment part of guilt that doesn’t do anyone any good. I think kids learn as much from what they feel from us as what we say or do. So if we are feeling guilty much of the time for not being the perfect parent, that self-punishment might become the message, and that’s not what we want. And in spirituality, harsh self-judgment and guilt can be an even bigger trap, as we swing hopelessly in our mind between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ judgments – “Oh, today I was so peaceful and mindful, I was a good seeker”, and then, “Oh, I really blew it today, I missed my meditation, I got mad at my co-worker, I’m a terrible person, I’m not making any progress.”

Humor might be the saving grace in both, which is why I loved Gyllenhal’s performance in the first place. And Trungpa devotes an entire chapter to humor in his Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. It’s also why I will laugh at movies like the Love Guru, that almost everyone else panned. Take  your humor where you can get it, that’s my view! And [God] knows, our kids and our egos provide plenty of opportunities to laugh, if we are looking:-)

So that’s it, my anti-dogma dogma, in parenting and spirituality. Any comments?

Tibetan Knowledge on Birth, PPD, Motherhood, and Childcare

This week on BellaOnline I reviewed The Tibetan Art of Parenting, and while I focused on the Buddhist-oriented knowledge in the review, what really interested me was the info on mother’s and children’s subtle energies and energy systems. As some of you know I have an interest/obsession in the sacral or 2nd chakra, and have written before on its relationship to childbearing and raising (among other things.) Along those lines, here is some of the information I found the most intriguing, and thought some of you might also (and none of this is meant to be a recommendation of any type, although I do have great respect for certain aspects of Tibetan culture):

- Keeping a mother warm just prior to, during, and after childbirth is considered essential, because it is believed that giving birth takes up so much of a mother’s lifeforce that she doesn’t have enough left to keep herself warm. Although the book itself doesn’t specifically mention chakras (some Tibetan lineages utilize chakra techniques and others do not), this little tidbit was interesting to me because the kundalini, or energy that rises through the chakras when they are open, is often called ‘heat’, and many people experience an energetic heat when doing chakra techniques. So a deep or chronic coldness is never just physical, but also energetic, and can indicate blocks or lack of energy in the chakra system and associated subtle energy channels.

Tibetan mothers are kept warm with blankets and warm broth during childbirth. Of course, in most Western hospital settings, the temperature is frigid and birthing mothers are not allowed any food, even broth. This shocked one Tibetan mother who gave birth in the U.S. As she put it, “I told the nurses I was cold and thirsty and they gave me ice chips!”

- Tibetan medicine does recognize post-natal/post-partum depression, and views it as a “deficiency of life-sustaining winds”. First off, it is interesting to find PND/PPD recognized at all, because there are those in homeopathic/holistic medicine communities here in the West that view PND/PPD as a uniquely modern Western condition, exacerbated by the ‘alienated’ way we birth and raise children, as compared to the past or other cultures. But Tibetans generally have strong family support systems, birth naturally, often at home with family attending, nurse, sleep in a family bed, etc. all methods that some believe lower the incidence of PND/PPD. And they absolutely may help, but clearly the fact that this ancient medical system recognizes it shows that it has been with us for some time, and there is a lot more going on.

The ‘life-sustaining winds’ are essentially kundalini/life force (lots of different terms for referring to this in different traditions), and upon doing some further research on Tibetan views of PND/PPD (beyond this book), I found that it’s believed that in cases of PND/PPD either the mother’s energy was depleted prior to birth more than normally for some reason, was blocked because of energetic issues prior to becoming pregnant, or was not sufficiently recovered after giving birth. In other words, for whatever reason, so  much ‘heat’ is lost during birth that it is the last straw, and the mother can’t recover her own energy enough to meet her own physical and psychological needs. The Tibetans use herbal treatments, energy practices/rituals, massage, acupressure, steaming and other methods as treatment.

I do know some yoga teachers that specifically advocate kundalini/chakra work for PND, particularly teacher Gurmukh (whose pre and post natal yoga DVDs I used in both my pregnancies and loved) but hadn’t really come across it within an alternative medicine system before. For me, it really supports my belief that the 2nd chakra is of special importance in women, the seat of their entire personal power really, and requires special care. (And for the record, I personally utilize both mainstream Western and alternative medical methods for myself and children, so this is NOT meant to discredit or judge the use of hormonal treatments for PND, as I know women who have benefited greatly by this.)

- In Tibetan medicine, when a nursing infant/child is ill, the mother is often treated with herbs, energy cleansing techniques and rituals, even if she is healthy. It is believed that both herbs/medicine and energy streams are transmitted through the mother’s milk to the child. This includes a mother’s moods and any external energy influences. In other words, the mother’s entire state is transmitted to some extent to the nursing child, especially young infants.

- Children are believed to retain past life memories to some extent up until the age of 8 years old. They are also considered extremely intuitive and sensitive energetically until this time. Children under 8 are believed to have a purity and openness of mind (regardless of their past-life karma) that connects them to energetic sensations and spirits that most of us lose after this. Young children’s intuitions and sensations are taken extremely seriously – both positive and negative experiences. On the negative side, there are 24 ’spirit disorders’ that children are believed to be especially susceptible to, from night terrors to various levels of possession. Tibetans therefore use a variety of ‘protective’ methods for their children, especially before this age, and Lamas are consulted if disturbances are recurrent.

- Formal schooling usually starts around 6, and schooling outside the home has long been a part of Tibetan culture. In Tibet, this was a major function of the monasteries, and part of the reason they flourished there. I was interested to find that in the Tibetan exile community in Dharamsala, most of the schools are now Montessori schools. I stumbled upon Montessori quite by accident with my own children, and have loved it, partly because many of its tenets meld so well with my own beliefs on consciousness that have been shaped by my own spiritual journey. Upon researching Montessori more, I discovered that founder Maria Montessori was very involved with the Theosophists, and was asked to come to India and found several Montessori schools there, and as a result, Montessori is very popular throughout India. (And as I noted in an old post on Indigo/Crystal children, Montessori is also one of the recommended education methods for them. BTW – my own views of the Indigo/Crystal theories has been undergoing a shift and perhaps I’ll post on it again soon…)

- In family units and in relations amongst children, harmony is emphasized above individual feelings. Although I hate to stereotype, I do think this is a distinction that holds for most Eastern cultures vs. Western ones. Here in the West, a lot of parenting philosophy orients around respecting individual children’s feelings, and acknowledging and respecting all party’s feelings when resolving disputes. But in Tibetan culture, there is usually some kind of judgment made by whatever adult is around regarding which child is the one causing the disruption, i.e. who is responsible for the lack of harmony, and the problem addressed that way. So if a child takes a toy from another, or won’t share, he/she is made to give the toy back or share, no discussion. This is a very basic example, but interesting to contemplate when you expand it out to other scenarios. As the authors of this book put it, “In Tibet, demanding your own rights is not valued, because it doesn’t fit into the concept of being a part of the family.”

- Tibetans spank, and the Dalai Lama was hit with a switch by his parents. I have to admit, I was thrown by this one. I am pretty anti-spanking, especially in our hyper-violent culture, and this didn’t seem to fit with a culture where children are taught to delicately carry spiders and other insects outside when they get in the house. But Tibetans consider discipline essential, and spanking to be a suitable punishment for them. Interestingly, it is often carried out after dinner, much after the event instead of at the time, which at least means it is not just done out of anger in the moment. Overall, I think it reminded me that in parenting perhaps technique and philosophy is less the issue than intent and relationship, which is something that has come up over and over in the last 2 weeks (my karma perhaps for my judgmental mini-rant of parents who drug their children for ADD/ADHD??) And along those lines, if you have not yet read Mon from Holistic Mama’s post ‘When I See a Mother, I Will Assume‘, check it out.

As always, I welcome all thoughts and questions regarding any of these topics….

Chakra Immunity Boost For You and Your Kids

I haven’t written about chakras recently, and with all the focus on how to stay healthy in the upcoming flu season  (it seems like everywhere I go there are signs telling me to wash my hands and cough into my arm) I thought I would post a bit on little ways to strengthen your immunity, and that of your kids if you like, using chakra focus. As I’ve posted before, I’m not an energy healer and my interest in the chakras is more from an awareness and mind-energy perspective, but of course the mind and body are related, and the chakras are one form of intersection in that relationship. And anyone can learn to tune into this energetic system.

I use these techniques regularly, with both myself and my kids, based on how I am feeling, especially when I feel like I or they might be on the verge of getting sick, or at risk for it. (And when we actually are sick, of course.) The idea behind all of them is to redirect some energy into those parts of your energetic system that relate to your immunity. We’re not talking serious, long-term illness here, we’re talking colds, flu, headaches, etc. And these aren’t meant to replace any dietary or herbal methods you might have for strengthening your immunity, they just add an energetic dimension.

First a note on illness, at least the kinds of illnesses we are talking about here: It’s a natural part of being human. We have viruses and bacteria in us and around us all the time, and there is a constant balancing act (I don’t like ‘battle’) going on internally between our immune system and these various organisms. When the balance tips beyond a certain point, we ‘get sick’, which means, our body starts to have symptoms related to the internal re-balancing that is taking place. We might take any number of steps to aid our system in rebalancing itself – echinacea or other herbs, vitamin C, zinc, chicken soup, antibiotics, whatever. But it is always our own body, our own immune system, that heals us – not the ‘medicines’. Energetic techniques are just a way of aiding our immune system by consciously redirecting some energy into it.

I find the navel and heart chakras are the easiest to work with along these lines, and in order to determine which technique might be the most useful to you or your kids at any given time it’s useful to assess your or their awareness, and look for trends that have sapped your or their energy in some way. The two most common are dispersion and stress:

Dispersion: This is when you are frazzled and/or fuzzy at a mental, emotional and/or physical level. I am a very mental-oriented being, so this typically manifests for me as ‘busy mind’, but for others it may manifest emotionally, typically as increased irritability, or physically, often as clumsiness. The three can all occur at once, of course, in a triple whammy! Basically, it’s a sign that your energy is not consolidated and centered. It is shooting all over the place in a very unfocused way. If you have a very sensitive energy body – as women especially tend to have – this might be triggered by time spent in a group or crowd, or too much contact with hyper-stimulating media (which yes, does include the internet, depending on how you use it!) If this is your main issue, or your kids, sick or no, then some navel chakra focus might help.

Stress: As in tension, tightness, constriction. These are the main energies of stress – a build up of mental, emotional and/or physical energy to the bursting point. When you are worried, when you are fixated on a deadline or a problem and can think of nothing else, your energy is bottled up and constricted, with no way to release. And of course it’s well known that too much stress negatively impacts your immune system. When your energy is constricted in this way, it can’t flow properly internally. For kids, the causes of stress are different – any new situation might trigger it. If stress is your or their main issue, then some heart chakra focus might help.

In a way, dispersed and stressed states of mind are polar opposites, with dispersion occurring when too much energy is flowing outward in an undirected way, and stress resulting in too much energy being constricted internally, causing energetic ‘clogs’. And yet, it is possible to experience both at once, or rather, to be swinging back and forth between the two (take it from me!) So the main point is to just try and identify which is the dominant trend in your awareness. Once you’ve done that, here’s techniques for addressing each (and yes, you can do both):

Navel Center – Consolidating, Centering Your Energy:

- The simplest thing you can do – anywhere, anytime – is to just place your hands over your belly, just under your navel, and breathe deeply into your hands for a minute or so (or whatever you can manage in the moment.) The idea is to do deep, belly breathing, in which your belly – not your chest – is rising and falling. If you can, focus on feeling heat in that area – focusing on the heat from your hands can be helpful in this regard.

- If you have a bit more time, and can actually close your eyes and visualize, then try visualizing a red or fiery red-orange ball of light in this area, just under your hands. Although yellow is traditionally the color associated with this chakra in the systems most Westerners are familiar with, the yantra (sacred geometry image) associated with this chakra is usually red, and red and orange are the colors of the 2 lower chakras, which you are also pulling on here. Plus red or red-orange has a warm/hot and strong association, all of which you are trying to pull on in this technique. As you do this, really imagine that you are pulling yourself back together – pulling in all the dispersed pieces of yourself from the ether, and consolidating them right here, in your belly.

- Doing either of these or some sort of navel focus at some point during exercise can be especially helpful. This center is associated with will and drive, so if you are doing aerobic exercise of some type, even fast walking, the combination of exercise, will power, and navel focus can really speed the centering process. And if you do yoga, spending part of your savasana (corpse pose) time centered on your navel, before completely relaxing and releasing, can be helpful.

Heart Centering – Releasing, Opening Your Energy

- Similar to the main navel center technique, for this one I like simply holding your hands over the center of your chest for a minute, one on top of the other, and focusing your attention underneath. However, the focus here is more on a sense of release. With each exhale, gently open your hands away from your chest (you can just imagine this if you aren’t in a position to actually do it) and imagine you are releasing any negativity or constriction outwards. When you inhale, close your hands back over your heart in a protective fashion, and try to feel some warmth or tickle in the area.

- Again, if you are in a position to close your eyes and visualize, and/or if you want to do this as part of a formal sitting meditation practice, a visualization can help. I like to visualize a ball of white light (although if you are used to the traditional colors of light green or light blue here, that is fine too -  I am not a purist on chakra colors, personally.) Imagine the ball growing stronger and stronger, and pushing out any negativity as it does. Then imagine it relaxing, settling back down to its starting size, and as it does, relax your entire body with it. Continue this release and relax cycle for 2-3 minutes if you can.

- When we are stressed, we also tend to become disconnected emotionally – we are trapped inside our own mind/body. So another way to trigger the heart chakra is to consciously trigger warm, joyful emotions. This can be very tough to do when you are highly stressed, but if you can do it, it is highly effective. Two access states for this are beauty and affection. Simply visualize any place or sight that you find particularly beautiful, or any being for which you can easily feel an uncomplicated affection (I always say, puppies and young kids are generally safe bets!) If you can actually get these emotions flowing, your energy will naturally move down into your heart chakra, and then you can practice one of the release exercises from above.

It’s important not to get overly complicated or worked up over doing any of these properly. They are just general guidelines. In my experience, if you can just learn to assess your own energy or that of your children periodically for signs of dispersion or stress, before they get too pronounced, and address them right away, this can help your and their immune systems – and overall energy levels – tremendously.

Now a note on kids. With kids age 6 and up (although it varies) you can actually teach them these techniques if you wish. My own are younger than that, and with them, I don’t attempt to get them to visualize or anything like that. I just place my hand over their navel or heart chakra (depending, of course, on whether I feel they are dispersed or stressed) when they are on my lap, and breath with them. Sometimes I encourage them to ‘breath into my hand’, which they like. When they are sick, or tired, they especially like this. And of course the parent-child energy bond goes to work here too.

So there you go. I feel like there are a lot more variations I could have put in here, and questions I could have addressed, but I will save those for the comments, if there is interest. Also feel free to contribute any of your own immunity boosting approaches, for you or your kids…

September Month in Review

It’s time for my month in review post! In which I talk about whatever I want, whether it has anything to do with the rest of this blog or not, and then try and shape it into the lovely format created by Mon at Holistic Mama. This one got a bit long, as usual. And I won’t be able to be online that much in coming days (egads!) so might be a bit slow responding to comments…

A thought…

The kids are settled into their new schools, and all my fears about it seem to have been of my own making. I wasn’t worried too much about the twins, at their cute little Montessori preschool, although they are in separate rooms this year, and I hesitated a bit on that (the Director recommended it so I decided to give it a try.) They do not seem to have noticed, and just look at me like ‘huh?’ when I ask if they miss each other. It’s only three hours out of their day, 30 minutes of which is spent together on the playground, so I probably overestimated the trauma on that one.

I do admit to harboring bigger fears re: public kindergarten for my eldest. My thoughts on education, still pretty undeveloped but shaped by some of the beliefs on consciousness I write about here, are not very mainstream, and the way we mass educate children as a culture seems to me at best uninspiring and at worst abusive. I have gravitated towards several bloggers that write some about homeschooling (including Mama-Om, Holistic Mama, Dark Side of the Broom, and occasionally Quest for Balance) and may consider it someday. But for now, the logistical reality is, school is my childcare, and I need it to work.

Fortunately, my visions of my daughter slaving away at a little desk dutifully copying the alphabet a hundred times over have not come to fruition. She does as much singing and art as writing, and she loves it. And I love her teacher, which reminded me of something I should have already known, considering the fact that my mother, stepfather, and aunt were all public school teachers: Most teachers go into it because they truly love kids and want to help them. Unfortunately, too many of them just have the deck stacked against them. Like many in our neighboring school district, LA County, where elementary school class sizes have gotten as high as 40, and high school classes up to 55. Can you imagine??

So all my kids are happy right now, and I am grateful. As any parent can tell you, you can’t focus on a thing if you think you’re kids are unhappy where they are. So I’m free to focus. Haven’t entirely decided on what yet, but I’m getting there…

A sound…

A conversation I overheard (ok, eavesdropped on) between some other moms at my daughter’s dance class. I have read many times about how kids are over-medicated these days, especially for things like ADD and ADHD, but I didn’t personally know anyone who had done so (or at least, not anyone who was willing to discuss it.) But a conversation about one of the drugs for ADHD – I can’t remember which one – broke out in the parent’s waiting room, and it turned out 3 of the girls were on this drug. That’s 3 out of 8 in the dance class.

I was really stunned, especially at the casualness of the conversation. It was clear this was just what they had been told to do by someone, I guess a doctor, and didn’t really think there were alternatives. And I do recognize that drugs might be necessary and helpful at times, but what really shocked me about this conversation was the symptoms they described. “Lack of focus”, “impulsiveness” and “inability to complete tasks” – these are 4-6 year olds for crying out loud, aren’t they all like that?? And the sign the drug was working, according to one mom? Her daughter cleaned up all her toys in her room unsupervised when asked, a task “she would never have been able to complete” before the drugs. Geez, I’d love it if my kids would pick up all their toys when asked too, but I’m not going to drug them for it!! (Plus, in my case, it would be highly hypocritical, considering my somewhat relaxed housekeeping standards:-)

Perhaps I’m being too harsh. I generally have a policy of not judging other parent’s choices, within certain parameters. And these were educated, caring parents, as far as I can tell. They just really thought this was what they were supposed to do. And I recognize that these same symptoms in older children might signal a real problem that requires addressing. But can’t we give 4-6 year olds a little time and space to be unfocused, impulsive and messy? Or, let me rephrase that – how about curious, energetic and creative??

A taste…

Movie theater popcorn…We went to the movies as a family for the very first time – Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. The kids did great, staying in their seats the entire time, and devouring an astonishing amount of popcorn. The movie wasn’t bad, although I didn’t like it as much as some critics seem to. At least it was different, and didn’t feature any pining princesses or orphaned baby animals.

An image…

From another movie (DVD this time) - High School Musical! Really! “We’re all in this together…”  I finally saw it, and I have to say, I would watch it again. I’m very into feel-good, entirely un-ironic, escapism (why not?) and this definitely fits the bill (well maybe it’s a little ironic…)

I also liked the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, starring Keanu Reeves, which I think was universally panned by critics. I haven’t seen the original, and am not a hardcore sci-fi fan that follows all the various authors. But I do generally like sci-fi, because it’s where we, as a culture, most directly project our fears and hope for the future. And of course, this is very apocalyptic, and Keanu gets to play a messiah-type alien. I know he is often criticized for being too wooden, but I think he has a wonderful soulfulness to him, and this is his third messiah, if you count Neo (Matrix Trilogy) and the Buddha (Little Buddha). Not everyone can pull that off.

A scent…

Lattes. Which I’m trying to wean myself off of. And so everywhere I go I smell them.

A word…

Well, it’s a name really – Alfie Kohn, author of several books on unconditional parenting, i.e. parenting not based on reward and punishment. He came up three times in the last 2 weeks! First with a friend who has 5 year-old triplets, and then in blog posts at Taking the Lid off the Sun and Dark Side of the Broom. Strangely, in the comments of both I found myself expounding the limitations of his approach, when in fact, I actually like a lot of his ideas. But I guess overall, my philosophy on two themes of this blog – parenting and spirituality – is pretty much the same: It all depends. It all depends on the person, the child, the age, the phase, the strengths, the weaknesses. In both, spirituality and parenting, different philosophies and practices work for different scenarios and people at different times. I know it sounds very non-committal and cliche of me, but that really is my take.

A touch…

My soft, fuzzy slippers, which it is getting cool enough to wear again…

A gift for me…

Books! My life is always filled with them, but I am focusing on them in a new way. I am going to try and participate in Mon’s new Book Club Mamas. I have also finally gotten an Amazon store up, with books I recommend in many different categories, all roughly corresponding in topic to this blog. And I’ve gotten my shop up at BellaOnline, featuring the books I have reviewed there.

Also, I added a new children’s book to my Spiritual Books for Young Children list: Moody Cow Meditates, by Kerry Lee Maclean. It’s about a young boy/cow who has a very bad day, and ends up very angry. His grandfather helps teach him a ‘mind-jar’ meditation technique to settle him down. It’s a great book to get kids talking about anger, and for introducing meditation. And it passed my own ‘kid test’ – all three of mine loved it. Although we almost didn’t get past the page where moody cow has a bike accident (“Did he bleed?” “Is that blood?” “Where is the blood?” “Ooh, look at the blood!” “He should get a bandaid!” Don’t worry, it’s not as gory as it sounds.)

A post you may have missed…
Here’s some posts from other bloggers that I liked this month:

The Secret is Out by the author of Momma Zen, Karen Maezen Miller

God is Play-doh by Jay at Porsidan

A Monk, Bowing, and Palms Coming Together by Nadia at Happy Lotus

What is Love Really by Lance at Jungle of Life

And be sure to check out Jan Lundy’s new blog for women, Awakened Living!

(And of course, if you missed any of my posts this month, I wrote about Love, Peace, and Science, and then talked with Akemi Gaines about Akashic Records.)

Namaste-

Interview with Akemi Gaines: Akashic Records, Reincarnation, 2012 and More

One of the unexpected benefits of blogging for me has been the opportunity to learn more about other modes of thinking, whether on parenting, spirituality, healing, or other topics. I read a wide variety of blogs for this reason (a friend recently told me my blogroll was a very ‘odd mix’, which I think is a compliment:-) One I have read regularly for some time is Yes To Me, by Akemi Gaines. Akemi is an Akashic record reader, with some unique observations about trends occurring in today’s world. Although I had read about the Akashic records years ago, I had not explored them in depth, or had a reading done, until this year, and it has been fascinating. So I decided to interview Akemi as a way of presenting some of this information to others (and as a sidenote, over time I really want to interview the authors of a lot more blogs I visit, for this same reason.)

Hi Akemi, thanks for doing this today. For people who are not familiar with the idea of the Akashic records at all, how would you describe them?
The Akashic records are a history or collection of all the things every soul has ever been through. That is the briefest explanation I can give you. It is a complete history energetically. But really, I don’t think the Akashic records are just about souls, it’s about everything. It’s a complete record.

So you focus on reading the Akashic records of individuals, but theoretically you could go back and read about the energy patterns of historic events, apart from an individual?
I have not tried this, but yes, I think it is possible to do this.

How did you learn to read the Akashic records? Like many westerners, I first read about this idea of the Akashic records in the books of Edgar Cayce. Did you learn about them in Japan?
No, actually, I learned about them here in America, after I moved here. I had my Akashic records read, and I was so impressed with the information that I decided to learn it by myself. I studied with the individual who had done my reading.

And do you think this is something anyone can do, or do you think there are natural seers?
That is an interesting question. I think it is a little of both. Theoretically, I do think anyone can learn to read the Akashic records. But there are also natural tendencies involved. Not everyone is interested or will want to take it very far. I think of it like cooking. Anyone can learn to cook, but some people aren’t that interested. And others just want to learn to cook a few good meals at home, which is great. And then others have a natural talent and drive to be a professional chef. It is like anything really – anyone can learn it, but there is also personal preference and drive involved in how far you take it.

So what kind of things come up in an Akashic record reading for an individual?
Well, I believe we need to have some criteria for what we want to read before we start. Remember, the Akashic records hold everything, to the point of what did you eat for lunch today. But that’s not of much interest, so we need to have some criteria of what we want to read. In my practice, there are two main things I am interested in. The first is,   what kind of soul level gifts and strengths the person has, and the other is whether the person has any energy issues that need to be cleared. So these are the first things I look for. But it is also possible to approach it from more of a curiosity perspective if someone asks for that, like ‘what was my last life’, or ‘was I in Ancient Egypt’, etc. So then I can do that too. Also, this is just the way I approach readings, but I don’t think it’s the only way.

So do you ask someone what is going on in their present life before starting, and work off of that?
Sometimes people offer that. But really, my criteria is does this person have any major energetic issues. And then I can see when or how these energetic issues started, and advise some energy techniques to clear them. And in this area, a reading might cover several relevant past lives, or just one, it all depends. Or sometimes even, a client might not have any energetic carryover of this type, and my reading might not cover any past lives at all. And then I also cover soul-level gifts and strengths, because I think recognizing these and expressing them is a big part of why we are here.

Ok, great, so now let’s back up a bit. Obviously, you use this word ‘soul’ which I have to admit I am not entirely comfortable with because of how it is often defined in organized religion. But I have found that you use it a little differently than it is often used,  can you define it a bit for us?
When it’s necessary, I make a distinction between a ‘soul’ and a ‘higher self’. When it’s not, I use them interchangeably, like many people do. Sometimes I think it is necessary to distinguish the difference. I use the term ‘higher self’, but some people also use ‘over-soul’. So in our everyday life we of course have our physical body, and we also have our mind, and our emotions. The soul is beyond that, and has probably had many physical bodies, and minds. That is the classic idea of reincarnation. Our mind is tied to our physical body in one life, and our soul incarnates into this for one lifetime.
In my own practice, my ideas about soul, higher self and reincarnation started to shift when I observed a phenomenon called ascension soul-shift in some clients. This is when someone goes through such a shift that they experience what I call an ‘upgrade’ – like a software upgrade – to their soul. It is like a new soul coming in, but it is of the same soul type, and is related to the original soul of the incarnation – related to the same higher self. This is ascension. I usually describe it as a software upgrade – when you get an update to your software, it is new programming, but it is based on the old one and an upgrade to it. But it is new software.
Now, I understand, this idea of a soul-shift is not something many people have heard before, and it makes some people very uncomfortable. But really, when I researched it, I found that knowledge of this has been around for some time. The idea of a soul-shift is nothing new, really. What does seem to be new about ascension soul-shifts is a couple of things. First, that the new soul is always of the same kind as the old.

Hold on, when you say the ‘same kind’ do you mean the same starseed grouping, something else that you write about?
Same starseed and same energetic profile. Again, it is like a software update. When you get the update, it is not just for any software, it is related to the version you had. So this is what an ascension soul-shift is like. It is like a big life shift, and many people experience it this way. They feel very different, they experience a lot of changes in their preferences and life, but they still are the same human person, they still remember everything. But this new soul has no past-lives. This is the second thing that is unique about ascension soul-shifts. It is like starting fresh energetically, but with the knowledge you currently have.

I see. So I think this is the thing that is the most uncomfortable about this idea of ascension soul-shifts, because most ideas of ‘soul’ or ‘spirit’ define it as being the most essential, unique part of us. The immutable ‘seed at our core’ type of thing.
Yes, and there is this idea that the purpose of incarnation is to learn and evolve our soul.   So this leads to the thinking that an ‘older’ soul is better, because it has learned more things. This is very linear thinking. I don’t know how to answer this. I just am responding to what I am observing. I am seeing these soul-shifts and they are essentially soul upgrades with new souls. It just seems to be something different that is starting to happen.

So do you think this is the start of a trend?
Yes. And for awhile, I did not have a good explanation for what was going on. I just observed it, more than once. I just saw in a client’s records that there was this new soul coming in, related to the old one, but new. And most of the time, the clients could feel this. So when I started to look into, this is when my definition of higher self or oversoul and its relationship to soul started to change. The way I think of it now is, we are each a ‘spark of God’, a spark of divine source. For that source to experience itself, it has to break off. These sparks are our higher self or oversoul, and we are used to thinking of this as our soul. But we can have different souls related to our higher self. This idea does come up in writings about simultaneous incarnations and the like. So it is out there, it is just not that common. So theoretically our higher self or oversoul can relate to more than one soul. And that is why the new soul in these kinds of shift is of the same type – it is related to the same oversoul.

So is it almost like a new incarnation, without going through the death process?
Yes, right. But the new soul incorporates all the previous learnings, and yet doesn’t have the history attached. I think it is a positive shift, a new level of evolution perhaps.

So that gets to my next question – do you think this is related to 2012? Or first of all, what are your thoughts on all the discussion surrounding 2012?
I don’t really know, frankly. But I do think that a lot of things are accelerating. Our evolution is accelerating. And it may be that 2012 will be a time of mass transition, when we reach a tipping point. Now how visible that change will be, what it will look like in the physical world, I’m not really sure.
This has been going on for quite some time. People are just focused on it because of this date that has been put out there. And I do think this phenomenon I have observed of ascension is related to that, and to planetary changes.

Ok, interesting. So let’s circle back to starseeds, as you brought up that idea, but that’s another thing people may not be familiar with. Can you define them?
Well, some of us, at the soul-level, may have started right here on earth. But some of us may have been through other star systems, other types of incarnation. And we call these starseeds. They are like a soul type. And they each have different characteristics. There are many starseed groups. I know about 20, and some have sub-types.

So in this type of thinking is the earth unique in that so many soul types mix here?
Yes, earth is quite unique, although I don’t think this is the only place where different starseeds mix. I’m not sure why it is this way though. Earth is a very interesting place from that perspective.

Well, my last question may tie into that a bit. In your mind, where does religion and spirituality and everything that is going on in that realm fit into this? I mean, you do readings for people with all different religious and spiritual beliefs, right?
Yes, I have had everyone from Christian ministers, to Buddhists, to the non-religious, and of course many with new age beliefs as well. Christian clients used to be quite rare, because of course Christianity does not traditionally believe in reincarnation, but many things are changing and this has become more common.
The way I think about religion is this: When our spirituality on earth was very underdeveloped, these kinds of structures were necessary. The rules and ritual were useful. But we have evolved spiritually. I personally have learned a lot from reading the Bible and other religious writings. But I don’t really think institutional religion is useful or necessary anymore.

Ok, thank you Akemi! You can learn more about Akemi and her readings at her website, Yes To Me. Feel free to leave questions for her or me in the comments as well.

Musings on PEACE, in Honor of International Peace Day

It’s International Peace Day on Monday, Sept. 21st, and since I posted on peace last year at this time, I thought I would do so again. You can check out Peace Day related events around the world, read about the Peace Alliance’s efforts to establish a U.S. Dept of Peace, or read about the founder of Peace One Day’s efforts to establish a world-wide cease-fire on this day.

Of course on this blog I write more about inner peace than global peace, but probably anyone reading this doesn’t need to be convinced that the two are related. I have been musing about what true inner peace means lately, and came upon this quote in a book I recently read by Buddhist nun Pema Chodron:

“The peace that we are looking for is not peace that crumbles as soon as there is difficulty or chaos. Whether we’re seeking inner peace or global peace, or a combination of the two, the way to experience it is to build on the foundation of unconditional openness to all that arises. Peace isn’t an experience free of challenges, free of rough and smooth, it’s an experience that’s expansive enough to include all that arises without feeling threatened.” (emphasis mine, from Taking the Leap by Pema Chodron)

I think this idea, that peace is “an experience that’s expansive enough to include all that arises without feeling threatened” is what is really resonating with me this year. It’s partly because the national dialogue here in the U.S. lately seems even more vitriolic than a year ago – and I really didn’t think that was possible. Peace of any sort seems very, very far away. And it’s clear that everyone is speaking – spewing often – from a place of feeling threatened. Defensiveness leaves absolutely no room for any kind of dialogue or progress.

Obviously this is something we all already know from our personal relationships. In a disagreement, once our buttons have been pushed, once the conversation has become about defending or protecting some aspect of ourselves that we don’t want to lose or are afraid will get hurt, it’s all downhill. It becomes more about getting the next good zinger in than trying to reach common ground.

And I think the same is true for the experience of inner peace. When I think of my most peaceful moments, I definitely think of time alone, spent in a favorite spot, meditating, reading, or communing with nature. And I think we all need those moments, the space in our lives to experience that. But I’ve observed – in myself and others – that it’s also very easy to become so attached to that kind of peace, that we become irritated when anything disturbs or challenges it. And that irritation is a form of contracting, of defending, not of opening and expanding.

It’s tempting to try and control every aspect of our lives so that our peace is never disturbed. But of course, unless you live alone in a cave, that’s also completely impossible (and maybe not even then.) Learning to accept what arises, to open  to it, instead of fighting it off, is the only real path to peace. This was a big lesson for me when I became a parent, as I had been meditating daily, and undisturbed, for many years. Learning to accept whatever happened when I sat down – the possibility that my meditation would end before I planned, because of the needs of one of my children – taught me (and is still teaching me) about opening on another level.

It’s also shifted my perception of peace, and spiritual practice, and this is why the quote above struck me just right. As Pema says, “peace isn’t an experience free of challenges.” Who would want that, really? Challenge is part of how we grow, how we achieve, how we discover ourselves, how we go deeper. I was talking to a young friend recently who by her own definition has had a really blessed life, everything has come easily to her, with few challenges. But last year she got her heart broken for the first time. And that has totally opened her up in a new way, because she felt true pain for the first time. And through her pain, her capacity for compassion deepened. It was all intellectual compassion before, now it’s based on empathy.

Recognizing this has so many implications, for our own pursuit of inner peace, for parenting, for politics, you name it. If we can open to disagreement, challenges, even pain (without seeking it out, of course – that’s a different kind of problem), instead of shutting down in the face of it, instead of becoming threatened and going on the defensive, these things are transformed from hindrances to peace into stepping-stones to it. They are no longer things we need to fight off, in our minds or the world, in order to experience peace – they are themselves what we need to accept and understand, what we need to go through, on our way there.

This gives me some hope even, about the current U.S. social dialogue. Perhaps everything is coming to the surface, getting aired out, instead of getting repressed or pushed down, on the way to moving through it. Only time will tell. Certainly it’s interesting to think about the 1950’s, which are often held up as some kind of national hey-day, with economic prosperity and elevated morality for all, when in fact, much of the country could not ride in the front of a bus or drink from a water fountain of their choosing based on race, and the overall poverty rate was even higher than today. The 1950’s were a heyday for very few, but there was seemingly less conflict. That’s certainly not peace, that’s repression. So maybe now, at the very least, the repression phase is ending, and as tumultuous as things are now, we will move through this to a new kind of understanding. I choose to remain optimistic.

So those are my thoughts on peace, inner and outer. What are yours?

Fingerprints of God: The Search for the Science of Spirituality

Well first off, I like to give credit where credit is due, and I have my husband to thank for this book, which is right up my ally. He heard an interview with the author, Barbara Bradley Hagerty, on National Public Radio (she is NPR’s religion correspondent), and prompted me to request a review copy (I never get to listen to NPR myself anymore, since the kids have co-opted the car sound system and we listen to an endless loop of Music Together CDs.)

For those of you that don’t have time to read reviews, I’ll get right to the point: If you are interested in neurotheology – the “study of the brain as it relates to spiritual experiences” – there is no book out there better than Fingerprints of God. I follow this field as best as a non-scientist can, because I find it fascinating, and because I consider holding my own spiritual beliefs up to the rigors of science an important part of my quest for truth (I regularly read atheist books for the same reason.) While some might consider this pointless, or even faithless, I think science is on the brink of a paradigm shift, and the dismissive, or even disdainful, way that it has viewed spirituality and ‘paranormal’ phenomenon over the last 200 years is starting to shift, and this is a fascinating thing to behold.

In Fingerprints of God, Ms. Hagerty has compiled all of the scientific research in this area, which could have been quite dull, but luckily she intersperses it with her own personal story, and the stories of dozens of individuals who have experienced profound transformations in their lives as the result of various kinds of spiritual practices and spontaneous experiences. Many of these tales are moving and emotional, and in my mind are enough reason in and of themselves to read the book. These individuals come from every conceivable religious background, and the commonality of their experiences and transformations, despite differences in the religious doctrines to which they subscribe, reinforce, for me, the universality of mysticism. Ms. Hagerty was herself raised a Christian Scientist, fell away from her faith as an adult, and then had a spontaneous mystic experience that re-opened the question of faith for her. Her research into neurotheology is therefore both professional and personal, as she relates in her introduction, where she lists the questions that drove her:

“Is spiritual experience real or delusional? Are there any realities that we can experience but not necessarily measure? Does your consciousness depend entirely on your brain, or does it extend beyond? Can thoughts and prayers affect the body? And that question I cannot seem to escape: Is there more than this?”

We are not simply talking about research into the mind/body connection, which at this point mainstream science has come to accept (a big shift from thirty years ago.) Most neuroscientists accept that our thoughts impact our health, and that changing our thoughts impacts the chemical balance in our body – particularly in relation to stress hormones and ‘mood’ chemicals like serotonin and dopamine. Based on that, much of the medical community has come to accept that practices like yoga and meditation, as well as variations on positive thinking, can be powerful components of a healing regimen. But that is a long way from accepting any sort of energetic or external force, or spiritual realm, outside of our body. By focusing on the research on spiritual practices and experiences, Fingerprints of God places this next step front and center in the conversation.

Here’s some of the research that she covers:

- Psychological research into individuals who have literally transformed their lives after a spontaneous mystic experience – particularly those who have recovered from addictions, or other self-destructive behaviors.

- Research into the efficacy of prayer, particularly mass intercessory prayer, and theories about the vastly different results various studies on this appear to have yielded.

- Genetic research into what genetic differences might be present in those drawn to spiritual practice or prone to spiritual experience, i.e. whether there is an inherited predisposition for spirituality.

- Research into how psychedelic drugs work on the brain, what chemicals are triggered during spiritual experiences brought on by these drugs, and possible chemical similarities to individuals who have similar experiences without the use of drugs.

- Studies of methods designed to methodically trigger spiritual experience by stimulating different parts of the brain.

- Research into epileptic seizures, and how and why the resulting brain changes often trigger spiritual experience (in fact, as the author reviews, an amazing number of history’s mystics have been written off by scientists as having been epileptic, a theory she explores in depth.)

- Neuroscientific research into the brains of ‘accomplished’ spiritual practitioners – specifically Tibetan Buddhist monks and Franciscan nuns, and the permanent changes in their brain that their spiritual practice has caused (which I covered a little in a prior post.)

- Studies on individuals who have had near death experiences (NDEs) and the resulting implications for how science views consciousness.

As I said above, this research (and more) is prevented from becoming dull by the personal stories of individuals participating in the research, and the spiritual journey of Hagerty herself. In addition, much of the research is presented through interviews with the scientists involved, who emerge as a pretty interesting lot themselves. Many of them chose this focus – considered at best an oddity amongst their colleagues – based on personal experiences they could not explain. And the author pushes them to get personal in her interviews, something most researchers do not like to do, and asks most of them to express their opinion point-blank: Do they believe their research indicates a higher power or order that functions through our brain, or the opposite – that the research suggests spiritual experience and beliefs are nothing but chemical reactions and neurotransmission ‘parties’ triggered by circumstance, drugs, or other methods?

Most say ‘we don’t know’, although some stick to the conventional materialist line – still the default amongst scientists at large – that the spiritual realm is nothing but a delusion created by our brains. But as the author demonstrates toward the end of her book, things are shifting, there is more of a willingness to explore these themes than ever before. For herself, she reaches the following conclusion:

“Science is showing that you and I are crafted with astonishing precision, so that we can, on occasion, peer into a spiritual world and know God. The language of our genes, the chemistry of our bodies, and the wiring of our brains – these are the handiwork of One who longs to be known. And rather than dispel the spiritual, science is cracking it open for all to see.”

Without the words ‘God’ or ‘One’, which aren’t really how I orient to my own spirituality, this could pretty much describe where I ended the book also. Some might say that this shows Hagerty had a position going in, an orientation all along, and this might be the case, but I think she is even-handed in her treatment, and gives both the materialist scientists and devout ‘believers’ equal time and credence. That’s more than I can say for most scientific research prior to the last decade.

So if you’re interested in this area, I do highly recommend this book. And if you want more recommendations, check out the ‘Science and Spirituality’ category in my Amazon store, which I finally got around to creating this weekend. Let me know in the comments if you have any other recommendations in this area that aren’t already listed (although I’ll have to read it before adding – every book in the store I have personally read and recommend.)

LOVE- The Story of a Life, of Any Life

It’s time to write about LOVE. I haven’t written about it for some time, although this blog is a labor of love, and both the ‘Mommy’ and the ‘Mystic’ part of ‘Mommy Mystic’ are all about love. Certainly love is the only thing that keeps parents going some days, fueling us through tantrums and stomach flus, missed curfews  and rebellions. And perhaps the only teaching mystics from all the world’s traditions can agree on is that love is the essence of our being, and that all the individual loves we experience in our lives – parents, children, partners, friends – are like refractions from a prism, brightening and focusing this essence for us.

I wanted to write about love this week because it’s been about three months since my friend and student Matt passed unexpectedly in June, and his 31st birthday would have been a few days ago. His entire life and path oriented around love, and his parents and friends have started a foundation in his honor, highlighting this. I haven’t written much about him here because I didn’t think it was my place. But the timing feels right now, and I think this foundation is a beautiful idea and would like to help publicize it (and for you Stumblers out there, I have stumbled it, please click through and add your thumbs-up to do so too if you like.)

As you’ll read on the foundation site, on one level Matt wasn’t subtle about his mission. He was a huge Dave Matthews Band fan, and years ago when attending a concert (a common event – his family found 78 DMB ticket stubs in his safe) he got the inspiration to make a big sign that simply said ‘LOVE’. With a friend’s help he did so, and held it up for the entire concert. He did that at every concert he attended after that. After his death his friends and family contacted Dave Matthews, who remembered Matt and his sign well, and dedicated a concert to him (you can hear the audio on the foundation site). In addition, many fans who had never personally met Matt began to hear of his passing and remembered his sign, and one has made a beautiful photo collection featuring it. (One of the foundation’s main fundraisers is pins and stickers with his LOVE logo on it.)

Matt’s sign was a wonderful, fun way that he demonstrated his connection to love, and what I particularly like about this act is its fearlessness. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him and his sign. He wanted to stand for love, so he did it. And this fearlessness was one of his defining characteristics on his spiritual journey too. He was willing to face any part of himself in his quest to know love at the core of his being, and in his mission to bring that through him out into the world. He was willing to question, to see the shadows, and to abandon the walls so many of us build in the name of self-protection, but which so often block us from the love inside us instead. In that he was unusual, especially for one so young – he seemed to know that he didn’t have much time. I had never seen someone radiate out so much love when meditating, and he was largely unaware of it. Again, it was fearless. Love is the antidote for fear, love is courage.

Matt did all this quietly however – even his sign was not something I personally heard him talk much about. In daily interactions, he lived love in smaller ways, in little kindnesses, which of course is where the rubber really meets the road. He would crack a joke to relax others, stay late to clean up the room after a class, be the first to volunteer to rent a car on retreats. And when speaking with friends and co-workers after his passing, I learned of so many other little ways Matt lived love in his daily life – sitting with a woman who had just had a minor car accident outside his work until the paramedics arrived, comforting the friend of a friend who was distraught at a party, cleaning out the work refrigerator, giving up birthday presents and asking his family to give to charity instead.

I don’t want to give the impression that Matt was some sort of holier-than-thou type walking amongst us. He was a normal twenty-something, with an apartment and a sales job, who loved to play touch football on the beach and hang out at bars with his friends (and go to DMB concerts of course.) But that is exactly the point. As much as I love to write about history’s ’saints’ and ‘masters’ and ‘mystics’, whether our name is ever written down or remembered as theirs was is obviously not the point. We are each part of a fabric of love, a thread in the weave amongst our family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, blog-commenters and even Twitter followers. And what we radiate out impacts every single one of them, impacts the entire fabric, and that in turn impacts their fabric, and so on and so on. The way Matt’s life is rippling out and generating changes and insights amongst every one who knew him (and many who didn’t) is truly awesome, and the best use of any life, in my view.

I also don’t think love is necessarily the driving orientation of everyone’s spiritual quest either, although it’s always the destination. In Matt’s case, they happened to align. In my own, I would say I have been more driven by a quest for truth, on many levels. And I think people orient through all different themes – peace, joy, power, stillness, compassion, wisdom, knowledge. But they all lead to love. Truth and love are the same, power and love are the same. Sometimes they appear in contrast at the relative level we live on, in the realm of action and ideas. But ultimately, they all come together, and that may be another thing all the world’s mystics could agree on.

So there you go, the story of a life, the lesson of a life, and in a way the story and lesson of all our lives. In honor of Matt, try to live the love inside you today, bring it forth in some small way, out into the world, instead of leaving it dormant inside you. Face down the shadows, the problems, the irritations, all the things your mind tries to tell you are more pressing than love. There is nothing more pressing.

And if you like, in the comments (which I live for) share your own thoughts on love – in life, in meditation, in religion or spirituality, in any context you like. Or share the memory or story of someone in your own life that has taught you what love really means. As always, thank you for reading. Namaste-